Passing By: Normanview Mall

-Your shoes are deadly.
-Thanks!
-You like that word?
-What word?
-Deadly.
-Yeah. I guess.
-Deadly means cool. Your shoes are cool.
-Thanks, sweetheart.

The Middle of the Library: Southland Mall

-Hey. Hey help me out here for a second.
-Uh... Ok...
-My friend here. He would like to try some marijuana. Just try it. I told him he could just hang around Campbell collegiate for a while and he'd probly find some, hey?
-Yeah, I don't know. That might be a good idea.
-Well, where do you find the stuff? It's been years for me.
-I'm not sure. I'd say try some of those guys that hang out at Vic park, downtown.
-Vic park. You know where that is?
-Vic park?
-Down town.
-Oh, down town. Yes, yes. I know down town.
-Go to the park there and ask one of the guys hanging out. How much would you say a joint is?
-I couldn't tell ya, man.
-Oh come on. Three dollars?
-I really couldn't say. I was gonna say maybe five, but I don't have a clue.
-Five bucks?!
-I really don't know.
-You got five bucks?
-Yes, yes. Five bucks.
-Should be good then. Go get er. Hahaha.
-Haha.
-Thanks for your help, man.
-Heh. No prob...
-Why do you even want to try it?
-Um. For fun. For fun.

Before a Wedding: Church Foyer

-Mommy? Mommy?
-Whose kid is that?
-Mommy?
-Who would just leave their kid like that?
-Mommy? Mommy?
-I wish I knew whose kid he was.
-He'll be fine.
-I guess, so hey? It is a church.
-Mommy!
-There she is.
-I'd lose my kid too if I had that many. Hahaha.
-Hahaha.

Before a Wedding: Church Foyer

-Hiiii. I know we weren't invited, but we just had to come see it.
-Oh. I'm sure it'll be fine...

Before a Wedding: Church Foyer

-So, how are things over in Esterhazy?
-They're good, yeah. They're good.
-Gonna be a good year for ya?
-Oooh, we'll see. We'll see. Just wrapping up some renovations yet.
-Renovations? You got a new place?
-No, no. Same place.
-The place I was at last year.
-Yuh. Same old place.
-Wow. That's a nice place. What kinda renos you doing?
-Oooh, we did the bathroom downstairs. And put some new windows in. Just finishing the wife's bathroom.
-The wife's bathroom, wow!
-Well it's the master bath. She's kind of taken it over. Hahaha.
-Well, you can never be too comfortable, I guess.
-Hmmm?
-I just thought your place was beautiful.
-Oh. Thank you.
-Can't imagine the renos you'd wanna do at our place! Hahaha.
-Oh, well. Just regular upkeep I guess.
-Oh yeah! Haha. Master bath just for the wife! Regular upkeep. Hahaha.
-Heh. Just followin orders, I guess.
-Well, We'll have to come out and see it.
-Ok. Yeah. Sure.
-Won't touch anything, I promise. Hahaha.
-Heh. As long as you promise, I guess.

Before a Wedding: Church Foyer

-Heeey, how are yooouuu?
-I'm gooood, how are you?
-I'm good. I'm good. I'm so glad I could make.
-Yeah. Yeah. Hey I know I should recognize you, but...
-I'm Sheri. I'm Amanda's aunt.
-Oh yes. Yes. Of course.
-We met last year at summer camp.
-Oh, of course! I knew that. As soon as I saw you I knew that's where I knew you.

In the Back Alley

-Hey! Get outta there!
-What!
-What the hell? Get lost.
-It's a free country.
-I'll call the cops! We don't need you around here. I've seen you before!
-It's just garbage, Dude.
-Oh my god. Don't eat that!
-Pizza.
-It's my pizza.
-Oh. Yeah. You want it?
-I mean I threw it there. It's like a week old.
-Tastes fine.
-Seriously. Get outta here. I'm calling the cops.
-All right. All right. I'm outta here. Thanks for the pizza.
-Fuck you. Get a job!
-Ha!

Over the Counter: Second Cup

-So. Nice day today, huh?
-Actually, it's snowing outside.
-Oh, I know. I was kind of joking.
-Well they said it was supposed to be nice.
-I know!
-They lied to us.
-They often do, don't they.Telling tall tales every other day.
-What?
-Tall tales. Like stories.
-Oooh. Yeah. Definitely.
-I'm just joking. Kind of.
-Yeah, hahaha....

In Front of Me: Starbucks Line-Up

-Yes, I'll have a Grande White Mocha.
-Ok, sure.
-But can I get it extra sweet?
-Um, ok. Extra sweet? Or half sweet.
-Extra please.
-Ok. Well our White Mocha is actually pretty sweet to begin with. We put four shots of syrup in it.
-Ok.
-So just normal then?
-No, extra sweet please.
-Ok... Like five shots then, or...?
-Yeah. Sure. Or six or seven. Whatever extra sweet is.
-Well it's kinda up to you.
-Seven.
-Ok...
-Six.
-No you can get seven. It's totally up to you.
-I'll just get six.
-Ok. I'm sorry, haha. Maybe it's just me but I find them very sweet.
-No prob. No problem...

Across the Aisle: A&W

-So let me see this phone of yours. What are all these icons.
-Well. Each of them is something different. Like here's my e-mail.
-So you can just e-mail anybody from right here?
-Yup.
-And that's through all these satellites floating around up there?
-Uh, yeah I guess so. And see I can check the scores. It's real time and everything.
-Hmm.
-And here's the Weather Network. Games. A flashlight. You can check your bank account.
-Your bank account? What happens if someone steals your phone?
-Well there's passwords and stuff.
-Can you track em?
-Yeah I think there's GPS or whatever in em.
-So someone's tracking you then?
-Well--
-There's someone somewhere who can type you up in their computer and they know exactly where you are.
-I guess potentially, yeah.
-That just scares the bejeesus outta me. Can you imagine what it's like for an old guy who grew up as a young man on a farm in the fifties? When most people couldn't afford a phone? I mean we were lucky, my parents being a little bit better off than most folks. They only had two kids, see? So we had a bit of money. Most other families used all they had to feed the kids, eh? Eight or ten or fourteen kids sometimes.
-That's crazy.
-Yeah. Yes it is crazy. And now all you kids run around e-mailing your friends while your driving your cars and sending pictures to China or wherever else. Does that got a camera?
-Yup. See?
-These things just blow my mind.
-Yeah they're pretty crazy when you think about it.
-I actually feel like I'm in a different world most days. People don't believe in magic, eh? Well I see it right there. Right there in your pocket...

Behind Us: McDonalds

-Dude, what the hell is in pop that makes it so addicting?
-Pop is in pop that makes it so addicting.
-Yeah, but they gotta put something in it. It doesn't even taste good, but you just haveta drink it.
-You don't Have to.
-Try eating McDonald's without pop. It's impossible.
-Dude, check it out. This is the deadly way to eat fries.
-What the heck?
-At least the deadly fat person way to eat fries.
-Hahaha.
-Hahaha.
-Wanna go?
-Just wait. I need a refill.

Behind Me: Before Class

-Ever try tzatziki sauce before?
-Nope. Don't think so. It's that white stuff?
-Yeah I got in my sub and it's surprisingly delicious.
-My mom eats hummus.
-Oh gross. I hate hummus.
-I know me too. But I like the word humus. Hummus!
-Haha. Hummus!
-It's such a strong word. I feel like i haveta flex when I say it. Hummus!
-Hahaha. Hummus!
-Irish has lots of funny words. Humus. Kilkenny.
-Hahaha. Leprechaun.
-Haha. Hooligan.
-That's Irish?
-I think so.
-Haha. Hooligan! You have to flex for all of them.
-Haha. Totally. Shamrock! Haha.
-Haha. Shamrock shake.
-Hahaha. We're so stupid. Haha. What else? Kelly green!
-Forest green!
-Golf!
-Hahaha.
-Hahaha.

On the Phone: Luther College

-I'm really good at making really witty jokes that may or may not actually pertain to the situation. Yeah, and I'm never sure if they make any sense, cause I never know what's actually going on...

Waiting for Burgers: Riddell Center

-Well I really wanna move back to Saskatoon, but I'm scared I'm gonna run into Ian. Cause apparently he's got a new girlfriend and shit. And as if I wanna see him holding hands with some weird-ass bitch and have them come over and be like, Oh that's such a cute baby, and I'd have to be all like, It's your baby you little shit, where my money at?
-No kidding! That's so awkward. Do you see him every time you go there?
-Pretty much, yeah. Last time I saw him at the mall and he was like, Ya know those African girls who used to be all mean to you? Well now they're mean to me and they're all like, Bitch, why don't you look after your baby-mama and your fuckin baby boy?
-They said that to him?
-That's what he said. And I'm all like, Those bitches be crazy, but they're totally right! Caleb hasn't seen a penny from his daddy his whole life.
-Ah. He's such a dick.
-Yeah he is! That's why I'm staying here. I can't even stand looking at him...

Walking Past: Waiting for the Bus

-Oh my god. That's so mean.
-I know! And she was wearing this fuckin flowery turban on her head--
-She was wearing a turban?
-No, but you know those huge flowery head bands? It looked like nineteen seventies Hawaii like threw up on her head, and she's sitting there making fun of the color of my shirt.
-She's totally always been mean...

The Edge of the Hot Tub: Kinsmen Sportsplex

-Don't you wish there was a device that made you breath underwater?
-Yeah, and you could never drowned!
-And you could swim as far as you want and you could live there forever.
-Aaaah haaa! And you could swim all day with a dolphin!
-And you could fall in love with a mermaid!
-Aaaaww gross!
-You never fell in love before?
-No! No way.
-I fell in love three times already.
-I never wanna fall in love.
-Are mermaids even real?
-I dunno. Probly. Wanna waterslide?
-Yeah!

At Dinner: Applebee's

-These young girls just don't know how to manage their PMS as well as we used to.

In Line: 7-11

-Do you wear those same pants every day?
-Hahaha. No. I have like seven of the exact same pair.
-Woah. How come?
-I don't know. I've just never been a jeans guy, I guess.
-Ask him why he's not a jeans guy.
-How come you're not a jeans guy?
-Hahahaha. They just don't feel right. Denim's awesome, but I don't like the way denim feels on my balls.
-Eeeew.
-Don't you find denim feels weird on your balls?
-Nope. Remember? I wear underwear. There's never any denim/ball contact. He doesn't wear underwear.
-Gross!
-Hahahahahahaha. It's so fuckin awesome.
-He hasn't for like three years.
-I just like letting the family hang out!
-The family? He's so weird.
-I feel like this is a very inappropriate conversation to have in public.
-Hahahahahahaha.
-Uh...

Starbucks in Chapters

-How long have we been here? We should do something.
-Let's play hide-&-seek.
-K. You guys hide. What should I count to?
-Thirty?
-K. One... Two...
-Go! Go!
-Three... Four... Five...

UofR Book Sale

-Don't they have any sports books?
-I got them all yesterday. Haha.
-Oh it was you? Damn it.
-Haha.
-You couldn't even get enough beer in me to read one of these...

In line: Henderson's

-You paying with cash?
-Oh no. I'm just the entourage.
-Haha. Everyone needs an entourage.
-Totally. Especially when they're buying food.
-Hey, back off, Bitch.
-Hahaha.
-No seriously. I'm not gonna lie. I'm unusually overprotective of my mini-eggs.
-Ok. Ok. I won't lie either. Very rarely do I ever share. Anything.
-I know, me neither.
-My dad always stole my food so I hate sharing.
-Especially sandwiches. Why would I wanna mix your saliva with my saliva?
-I know! Or drinks?
-Chocolate bars?
-Chips?
-So bottom line... Get your own mini-eggs.
-Hahaha.
-No seriously...

Waiting for Coffee: Starbucks

-Oof. Thought I was dreaming for a second there.
-How so?
-Didn't you see who served us?
-Oh yeah. Haha. Forgot you liked her.
-Oh man. She's a dream.

The Tall Tables: Riddell Center

-Ya know that crazy girl in my history class. She was in your French class or something?
-Yeah, that super weird one?
-Yeah. K. She came to class today, and like ten minutes into class she left. And then came back. Half an hour later. With a friggen coffee.
-Hahaha. That doesn't surprise me at all. She is so crazy.
-Hahaha. What? Did the prof say anything?
-No. Haha. He's probably used to her by now.
-She's always crazy?
-Oh yeah. In my class she would hit herself in the head every time she'd get a word wrong or whatever.
-I know! She did that last class! She just like hits her forehead so hard.
-Seriously?
-Yes! We'd always be like, Are you ok?
And she'd be like, Oh I do that all the time.
-Hahaha. That's so weird.
-She is weird. If she wasn't hot, she'd be like legit crazy.
-Hahaha. You think she's hot?
-Yeah. Totally.
-Haha.
-Is she?
-I've never thought about it. She's just too weird to be hot. Haha.
-Hahaha. True, I guess.
-Hahaha.
-Hahaha.

Sorting Clothes: UofR Bookstore

-Heeey, looook who it iiiss.
-Uh oooohh! Do we gotta kiss you're butt mega time now?
-What?
-Mwwa. Mwwa. Mwwa. Mwwa.
-What are you talking about?
-Well you're an Author now, aren't you?
-Darren!
-Oh. Well this is my second book, but yeah.
-Oh it is?
-You knew that!
-I did not know that.
-Sorry!
-But this one's new. So do we haveta kiss butt?
-Nah. You could read it, that'd be nice.
-Mwwa. Mwwa. Mwwa. Hahaha...

Finding a Book: Chapters Bookstore

-Are these even in order?
-I know, I can't find anything.
-I thought it was supposed to be alphabetical.
-It is alphabetical.
-Doesn't look like it.
-Look, A, and then, T.
-Alphabetical by author, you stupid. Hahaha.
-Well how am I supposed to know?
-Did you know?
-I don't know. Don't ask me.
-Hahaha. You guys are crazy...

At the Foodcourt: Cornwall Center

-Ya know what my buddy said to me? He was like, Isn't it weird how First Nations, or wait, Aboriginals. What are you supposed to call them now?
-I think they're actually interchangeable. You just have to say, peoples, at the end.
-Really? Why?
-I don't know. It's politically correct cause if you just say, Aboriginals, you're like objectifying the group as a thing rather than people. Or something.
-Well, anyway. He was like, isn't it weird how if they lived in San Diego, people would probably just think they're Mexicans.
-Oh my gosh, what an idiot.
-I know. He just said it out of the blue.
-What'd you say?
-I don't know... But I guess if you think about it, if a Mexican lived here, I'd probably think he was an Aboriginal. Aboriginal Person, sorry. Am I supposed to say Mexican Person, then?
-I don't know, haha.
-Mexicanos?
-I don't think it's the same.
-Tacos?
-Oh my god.
-That was bad, sorry.
-You're such an idiot.