Around Midnight: Denny's

-Gross, he's getting onions on his burger.
-You like onions?
-No. But I've been making myself try new things.
-But onions?
-Expanding my horizons.
-Guys always get into weird shit when they're old.

Between Bookshelves: Centennial Books

-Hey, ya know what I found out? Ya know how you always call people Yahoos?
-Yeah...
-Like, Look at this yahoo?
-Yeah. What about it?
-Ya know where that's actually from?
-Yeah, the Tibetan monks.
-What?
-They used to ride their yaks around until they were broken. Until they broke them. And then a broken yak was called a yahoo. And it would do whatever they asked it to.
-For real?
-And then in the wild west country, when they were breaking the wild horses, they'd all yell, Yahoo!! when they broke a horse. In respect for the monks. The Tibetan monks.
-Where did you hear that?
-Hahaha ahahaha. I'm just messin with ya. I have no clue where the word Yahoo comes from! Hahaha.
-Oh my god.
-Hahaha. So where's it from? Whattaya know? Hahaha.
-I don't know. It's from a book. Gulliver's Travels....

Cafeteria: Campion College

-K. So this guy came up to me. Creepy as ever. And he's all like, So where'd you get those pants?
-Whaat? Seriousleey?
-I know right? I was like, They're just jeans.
-So what'd he say?
-I didn't say it to him. I just walked away. I don't know what is, but weirdos are like drawn to me. Even in my English classes they're always like, Oh you're an English major? I've never spent more than like two seconds outside of a book! We should hang out and be besties, or you should like date me and we could read all day.
-Hahaha. No doubt!
-I mean just cause I like reading doesn't mean I'm a little weirdo.

Around [the same] Lunch Table: Luther College

-Have you seen his tattoo? It's amazing!
-Nah, he hasn't shown me.
-It's super cool. I'm gonna get one like it. But not as big. And behind my ear. Have you seen those?
-Honestly, I don't even really like tattoos. I've never seen the point of them.
-Really? I think they're cool. They're like a nice way of expressing yourself I think.
-I feel like they're just a fad. How is barbed wire an expression of yourself?
-Oh my god. Only an idiot would get something random like that. You have to get something that means something to you.
-I'm honestly gonna start a tattoo removal business. In like ten years. I'll make a killing off everyone who regrets getting their stupid tats.
-You're so dumb. They're like a work of art.
-I'll even give you a discount on your behind-the-ear cherry blossoms.
-Oh, your such an idiot.
-Hahaha ah hahaha

Around the Fire: Starbucks

-So I'm up watching TV around eleven thirty last night-
-You stay up that late these days? Geez, I'm in bed by ten at the latest.
-Oh yeah, I'm something of a night owl.
-And you're here by seven most days?
-A night owl and an early bird. Haha. Anyway, I heard some rummaging around in the back. So I go out there and there's this guy in my Ford. It's an old thing. Piece of junk-
-Ford what.
-Just a rust bucket escort.
-Ah. My first car was an old seventy-one Mustang. She was a beaut.
-But that's the third time they broke into that car. I think they're after those compact disc players.
-Is there one in it?
-No, but I'm puttin one in, see. I'm gonna rig it so when they pull the thing out, the airbags fire.
-Hahaha. That oughta teach em a thing or two.
-Hahaha. Instead of an escaped thief, I'll have an unconscious thief.
-Hahaha.
-So then I can kick the snot out of 'em.
-Haha. Oh, you wanna call them in, don't you?
-Nah. That's no fun. Hahaha. Cops won't teach 'em anything! That's no fun at all!

On the Bus: Between Home & School

-We gotta find dates for the weekend.
-Yeah, like it's that easy.
-It is! You just gotta ask anybody.
-Like who?
-Like anybody. I went out with some guy from the bus last week.
-Are you serious.
-He was just sitting there all quiet. I barely noticed him. Then he's all like, Hey whattaya doin tonight?
-So you just said, Looks like I'm hanging out with you?
-Hahaha. Basically. He was hot!
-Oh My God. What'd you do?
-Hahaha. We were just gaming out all day and then we went to a movie. Haha. He smuggled a twelve-pack in his back-pack. Just getting plastered in the theatre.
-Oh my god, that's so weird.
-Just passed out in the movie theatre.
-What if he did something to you?
-Oh, he didn't! He was a super nice guy. I wasn't Actually passed out!
-Oh my gosh, well I won't be going out with a guy from the bus, I can tell you that much.
-Hahaha. We'll find somebody for ya. Life's no fun without dates.
-True. Hahaha. Very true.

Around a Lunch Table: Luther College

-I can't wait to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D!
-Really?
-I loved that show!
-Honestly, I never really liked it. I don't like any Disney movies, really. I woulda liked it if it was more like Hamlet.
-Are you serious? Were you even a child?
-Haha. I don't know. I just think things are much more artistic when everybody dies in the end.
-Oh my god. That's so morbid. Haha.
-I thought it was awesome when Mufasa died in The Lion King.
-Oh, I cried so hard at that part!
-Hahaha ah hahaha.

At Breakfast: A&W

-Hey, how's it going?
-Ooh, not bad. Not bad. Not bad at all.
-Last day of work today!
-Oh yeah, going on holiday?
-No sir. I'm retiring.
-No shit. Congratulations. What then?
-I'm going to Bermuda.
-Holy god! Have you been before.
-Oh, I went for a week when I was in college. Told myself I'd retire there.
-Well good for you. Good for you. That explains the shirt. Haha.
-Hahaha. I just thought, What the heck? They gonna fire me on my last day?
-Hahaha. I hope they do! Hahaha. No I don't. No I don't. Good god. It'll probably take a miracle if I retire before eighty.
-Oh, Hahaha. I doubt that! How's it going back there anyway?
-Oh you know. Nothing changes around there.
-Haha. Well it is a good place.
-Yup. Not a lot changes around there...

Over the Counter: Starbucks

-Hey, haven't seen you for a while.
-I know! How were the holidays?
-Well... A gentleman decided to break into my apartment. On Christmas.
-Christmas day? Were you there?
-I was sleeping in my room actually.
-Oh my goodness. How scary!
-It was a long time ago. I'm kind of over it.
-Did he take much?
-He smashed the place up pretty good. Didn't take much. My copy of Ulysses.
-Ulysses?
-A book.
-Oh my. That's Strange. And that's it?
-And a few other little things.
-Why would he take a book?
-Good taste.
-Hahaha. I guess so. Well, I guess I'll have a pike roast, grande. A little room.

In Line: Xtreme Pita, Cornwall Center

-You know what I noticed about people? They only ever talk about themselves.
-Yeah?
-No one gives a shit about anyone. You're probably just wishing you could tell me about you right now, eh?
-I don't know, Man.
-Even me. I'm just telling you what I think. What I think about people. I don't give a shit about you. And I bet you don't give a shit about me.
-It's pretty weird, Man.
-We should all just talk to ourselves all the time. About ourselves.
-Or we could just stop talking.

Down the Hall: Riddel Center

-I haven't seen her in weeks.
-I know! It's like she's Mother Friggen Teresa. I mean maybe if I didn't already have a life, I could devote it to something really awesome, but...

Among Bargains: Value Village

-What about this?
-Hey, that's mine.
-Seriously?
-Yeah, I wore it that night I got stabbed.
-For real?
-Don't you remember?
-Was I there?
-I thought so.  He stabbed me right here. Right through my jacket.
-Were you bleeding?
-I got stabbed.
-It's probably not yours then.
-Oh. I threw mine out. Long time ago.

By the Toys: Chapters

-Oh my god. How are they going to spend fifty dollars each? They wouldn't even play with these.
-Who gives Chapters gift cards to kids anyways?
-Your sister gave them to them.
-Figures. Well they must sell DVD's here. Or something.
-Maybe they'll let us use them at Starbucks.

Under Stall Walls: Luther College

-Why would anyone write with pencil?
-What?
-Everyone's writing with pencil.
-They're using pen in here.
-People are retarded. This is my second favorite place to dump.
-What?
-That's what it says. Then someone says, 'Same here.'
-Someone says, 'Thou shalt not desecrate stall walls,' in here.
-Haha. Oh the thoughts you can think while sitting on the shitter.
-Where we going for lunch?
-I'd rather not write anything than write with pencil. You can't even see it.

Perusing the Boardgames: Chapters

-Oh Man, I remember once, I told this guy. Oh what'd I say?  I told him he better not do something or I'd...Man. I can't remember.  It was totally hilarious.  He was cracking up all over.

-What was he doing?

-I can't even remember. We were waiting in line somewhere.

-Are you serious?

-Haha.  I wish I could remember.  It was really hilarious.

-Geeze, I wish I could record that story and play it back to you.

-Hahaha. Oh man.  How come?

-That was one terrible story.

-Hahaha. That's hilarious.

Express Lane: Walmart

-Wouldn't it be great to write a story entirely in dialogue?
-I think they call that scriptwriting.
-I'm talking straight dialogue. Basically void of context.
-Sounds boring.
-You could steal from anywhere.
-Or anyone.