Thursday 9 January 2014

Amongst the Shelves: Chapters

-Hey wait.  Biographies. My mom says she wants a biography of Betty White.
-Betty White?  Do you know who wrote it?
-Ummm.  Nope.
-Well it's by author, so.
-Let's just look.  Oh my god, you know what I could never figure out?  How Mick Jagger was ever a sex symbol.
-Mick?  Just look at him. He's Mick.  It's cause he was bisexual.
-He was?
-Yeah. Before it was even cool.  He had all these affairs with boys and it was just like fascinating for everyone cause no one really did that.
-But he's so gross. Like scraggly and weird looking.
-Rolling Stones I guess— Hey here's one about Hemingway.
-Hemingway?
-Earnest Hemingway.
-Oh yeah. OK.
-You know he slept with his little nieces?
-Eww. That's sick.
-No not like that. He didn't do anything.  He was trying to deny his urges.
-Oh my god. He sounds like a perv.
-I dunno. He said he believed an artist should be able to deny his earthly passions or put it all in his writing or something, so instead of sleeping around and stuff, he slept with his nieces—like just in there beds, not slept slept with them—
-Oooh kaay...
-Well then he'd stop lusting or whatever when he did.
-Well I'm sure my mom would not appreciate a book about a guy sleeping with his nieces.
-Hahaha. Well where's this Betty White book?
-Excuse me, could you help us find a biography on Betty White?
-Oh sure, I think it's right rack here.
-Oh my god are you kidding.  I didn't even know there was another shelf of biographies.  Did you just add this one?
-Mmm, nope. I think it's been here a while.
-I have never noticed it.
-Yeah. I dunno.  I think it's been here since we changed the layout a while back.
-Well thanks for helping us.
-No problem at all.
-Oh it's an autobiography even. Mom's gonna be so happy I found it.
-That's weird they just put an extra biography shelf here.
-Did you know Betty White is ninety years old?
-Holy crap.  Now Betty White.  There's a sex symbol.