Eating an Apple: Abstractions

-Do you ever feel guilty eating apples?
-What? Why?
-They're the forbidden fruit.
-Oh my god, are you serious?
-I thought they were...

Behind Me: Starbucks

-I'm really glad we could meet.
-Yeah, me too! I wasn't sure if you'd call.
-I wanted to call sooner, but--
-Oh that's fine, that's okay.
-No, I was going to. It's just so busy at work right now with the early spring and everything.
-No, it's totally fine. I was busy too.
-Yeah, no doubt. What have you been up to? Tell me about it.
-Well, uh, I actually moved to Vegas for couple months.
-What? You moved to Vegas?
-Hahaha, sort of. It's, uh, kind of a crazy story.
-No doubt. Haha. What the heck?
-Okay, well. My friend--I don't think you met her--she made this video that kind of went viral, it had like two-hundred-thousand hits in one weekend--
-Oh my God.
-Yeah! And she was all like, I'm gonna be internet famous and all of this, and all of a sudden she was like, "Let's move to Vegas." And I was--
-Just like that? Why Vegas?
-I don't know. Hahaha. I never asked. I guess that's where you go when you're internet famous?
-So you just moved to Vegas?
-Well, I wasn't working, and I had a little money, so I was like what the hell?
-Oh my God.
-So yeah, we spent almost two months living in some guy's living room.
-Seriously? You didn't know anyone there?
-Nope. We met this guy on like, our third day there, and he said we could stay with him until we found our own place. But Vegas is a dirty dirty city. And eventually I had to leave.
-Oh my God, I love Vegas.
-I did too! But if you live there and you're not just, like, partying, it's a terrible city. I don't think I'd ever go back.
-Even just for a weekend or something?
-I got asked to shot pornos more times than I could count.
-Oh my God.

Across the Aisle: Coney Island

-I went to Deadpool on Friday.
-Oh, how was it.
-Blah. It was okay. But I got popcorn at the theatre. I never do usually.
-Oh, I always do.
-They're so huge, hey?
-Yeah, that's why I love it.
-Well, I obviously didn't finish it. So the next day, I went to warm it up in the microwave, and that friggen bag started on fire.
-What?!
-Seriously. I was sitting there throwing cups of water into my microwave.
-Hahahaha. Oh my goodness, did the alarm go off?
-Yes! And I thought my neighbors were going to come running. Like last time I--
-Last time? Hahaha
-No, seriously. I got Life popcorn--don't ever buy life popcorn--I just pushed the popcorn button--you know those buttons on microwaves?
-Yeah.
-Yeah, I pushed that button, and before I know it, the bag's on fire and the kitchen is full of smoke and my neighbors must've called the landlord cause he was over screaming about me starting fires in the kitchen.
-Hahahaha. Oh my God.
-Haha. I was like, "It's just popcorn! It's just popcorn!" Crying all over.
-Hahahaha. It's just popcorn!
-And, oh my God. My apartment smelt so bad, I couldn't sleep. I had to go sleep at my mom's. It was disgusting. Actually I hadn't eaten popcorn again until I got it on Friday...

Walking In: Value Village

-Uuuuuh. Hey. Hey wait--  D'you see this guy?

-Hmmmm?

-That guy. His jacket was packed full with stuff.

-That guy?

-That guy right there. He's stealing a ton of stuff.

-Oh my gosh that's so embarrassing. I dunno. There's nothing I can really do.

-Seriously?

-Well he's left the store already so...

-Okay, well I don't care. I mean he's right there, but...

By the Fire: Starbucks

-Dude, you cannot find a decent cup of coffee in this town if you're not drunk.
-Haha.
-Seriously, I've been everywhere in this town, and unless you're drunk, the coffee stinks.
-Unless your drunk.
-Unless I'm drunk. If I'm drunk you could use your gotch for a filter, the coffee'd be great.
-Hahaha.
-Never had a bad drunk coffee, but otherwise, this town sucks.

Waiting: H&R Block

-They get everything back.
-Whattayou mean.
-I mean they don't have to pay income tax. Anything taken off their checks they get back.
-Geeze.

-Good afternoon, Sir, were you thinking you'd get cash back today?
-Yeah, I'll get cash back.

-See?
-Jesus!
. . .
. . .

-Actually I don't think that's how it works.
-What's that?
-Sorry, I just— I think it's whatever money they make while they're on the reserve, they don't pay taxes on that.
-Oh. Okay. Yeah, I don't know for sure.
-And it's very hard to make any money on the reserve.
-Yeah, yeah, Okay. Hey, I'd want cash back too if I got it.
-Yeah. Me too.

The only others there: Humpty's

-In the good ol' days, everything used to be on the same circuit. My brother used to take is TV remote to his father-in-law's and hide by the window and switch Robert's TV on him. Hahaha.
-Ahahaha
-And Robert would get so mad. He didn't know what the blazes was going on. Haha.
-Hahaha.
-My brother'd even take his cordless phone over there to make long-distance calls. Hahahaha.
-Ahahahahaha. That's great. That's good. Is Robert still around?
-Hmm. I'm not sure. Well, yeah. I think he is. I haven't heard otherwise.